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| "Look here, Gwendolen, that Miss Dashwood is doing one of her dreadfully pompous Public Service Announcements again!" (Imaginary quote from The Importance of Being Earnest - 1952. The post title is also from IOBE but it's actually accurate.) |
Listen closely, children, for today I have some little stories to tell you, and a moral application to be applied at the end, so give me your full attention for a few moments and sit still with your hands folded. (Melody, put the book down, and Anne-girl, don't draw smiley faces on the wall.)
Story the First
Once upon a time, I volunteered at a historical event and accidentally on purpose listened in to the conversation two young people were having. (It wasn't that bad, guys, they were sitting right next to me and just making small talk during the down time.) The exchange didn't interest me that much, honestly, until I heard one of them mention Pride and Prejudice-- at which point my ears (figuratively) pricked up. This person, as it turned out, was a big fan of P&P95, and I, being the same, decided right then and there that I liked her very much. We have since become friendly acquaintances and when we meet, we always talk about how wonderful BBC costume dramas are-- but invariably, the conversation always comes back to Mr. Darcy. (cough, cough, ahem.) It wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that the person-who-liked-the-right-P&P and I would have struck up a friendship even without P&P95, but it definitely helped move matters along and raise her quite a few points in my estimation at a very early date.
Story the Second
Once upon a time, I was at a dear friend's house and we were up unreasonably late playing Apples to Apples with her siblings, because that's what people do when they've had too many chocolate pretzels. At some point in the evening, the topic of P&05 (or as I like to call it, FakeP&P) came up in the conversation, and one of the participants pronounced a resounding "boo" upon it. I, being a big Not Fan of P&P05, promptly pronounced approval upon this person, and the conversation quickly deteriorated into a most enjoyable bashing of the aforementioned film. Obviously we had all been getting along quite nicely before this juncture, but the introduction of a mutual dislike added a certain spice and flavor to the enjoyable-ness of the conversation. And though the person-who-boo'ed and I differ greatly on many other matters of opinion-- cough, cough, Sir Percy, COUGH COUGH-- the derogatory remarks he made regarding Fake P&P helped to raise him quite a few points in my estimation.
Story the Third
Once upon a time, I was clicking my merry way through blogdom, when I came across a blog that looked Kindred-Spirit-ish and Interesting. I began scrolling through it, nodding my merry head at the posts I saw that were pleasing to mine eye-- and then I stopped and mine eye grew red with rage, for the blogger who wrote this blog had written some observations of a scathing nature regarding mine own beloved P&P95, and THIS WOULD NOT DO. So I exited the browser window right speedily, and nary again did I darken the homepage of that blog. Which, now that I think back on it, was a bit hasty of a judgment... but that is how seriously I take my fanship, folks.
Application
Here we get to the meat of the post. :D
I have given you three stories of how I formed hasty/sort of hasty judgments about people/blogs based on a rather trivial element: their like or dislike of something I liked very much. (These cases all revolved around P&P95, which was not actually the intention when I started writing the stories-- all true, in case you were wondering-- but it seemed a fun and fitting coincidence so I didn't bother scrabbling around for stories about some other topic, to lend Variety or some such nonsense.) This is, of course, a pretty natural occurrence. People instinctively judge other people based on their likes and dislikes, and to a certain extent there's nothing wrong with this.
The problem-- one I consistently struggle with, by the way-- is when we start getting up in arms about the things we like and dislike. When we start giving people a hard time over something we don't agree with. When we start to forget that, for Pete's sake, it's just an opinion. It's just a blog post or comment. It's-- cover your ears, diehard Janeites-- just a book or a movie.
I've done more than my fair share of lightheartedly bashing movies or books-- even character portrayals-- that I didn't like. (You want examples, I'll give you examples.) And I'm actually not using this post to renounce all my past actions and pound the pulpit at the rest of you to tell you not to make the mistakes I did in my wild-oats youth. (Sheesh, I'm still IN my wild-oats youth. :P) Because I don't think there's anything wrong with a little well-intentioned snark. Obviously if the goal in mind is to hurt someone's feelings or take them down a peg or two, we have a problem. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm saying that it's fun to talk about the books and movies we love, to make fun of the ones we don't-quite-love, that people can bond over likes and dislikes (and even, perhaps, decide that they don't want to read a blog post that blatantly dislikes something they really like... if that sentence made any sense at all, which is doubtful.)
What's not okay, however, is to let our opinions and fanships to get the better of us. To get into less-than-friendly arguments. To leave scathing comments on blog posts we don't agree with (and yes, I've seen this happen). I'm not referring to good-natured ribbing between friends here-- that's a different matter entirely. If both parties know it's all in fun, there's no problem. But when we overstep the line and begin to take personal offense when someone dares to be less than enamored with one of our pet fandoms, we've gotten into dangerous waters.
Think of it this way. Imagine, if you will, a naive young whippersnapper who's just venturing into the sprawling, scary world of blogging. She lands upon a blog that looks interesting, begins to read a post that goes on and on about how wonderful this North and South movie is. How exciting, thinks she-- here's someone who likes it as much as I do. I think I'll leave a comment and show my appreciation... but then her eye lands on the comment box, and a particularly vituperative (that's a fun word :P) attack on the post author's choice of film is the first comment to pop up. A little shocked at the vehemence of the commenter's opinion, the naive young whippersnapper rethinks her idea of leaving a comment... she doesn't want to get yelled at, does she? Perhaps, after all, her opinion isn't the right one. Perhaps, after all, she is less of a person for liking something that this outspoken commentator didn't approve of. So, very sadly, she closes her browser, leaves Blogger and moves on through the melancholy rest of her life without ever experiencing the friendship and camaraderie that flows in abundance around this neck of the woods.
*melodramatic violin music plays as the screen changes to Benedict Cumberbatch staring moodily into the middle distance*
My point here is that it's okay to disagree with people. (I'm very close to a certain girl who happens to really like P&P05 (though every day I fervently pray that her erring heart may be converted), and to another who, well versed in TSP and Les Mis as she may be, just doesn't give Jane Austen the adoration she deserves. And yet I love them both anyway-- and I, in my turn, grieve them grievously by not appreciating P&P05 and by not being interested in Doctor Who. Heehee.) It's okay to debate things. It's okay to have mock battles over which Jane Austen hero is better. But let's not get too carried away and start making people feel bad over whether they prefer Mr. Darcy or Mr. Thornton, whether they like John better than Sherlock, whether they drink their tea with sugar or honey or ketchup if it takes their fancy.
Let's remember that it's okay to agree to disagree. Sure, where your moral principles are concerned, you'll want to take a firm and unwavering stand. But where your favorite Austen hero is concerned... maybe it's okay to let another person have her say.
Because you know what? The important thing here is that people do like books and movies and characters. That people are socializing and forming friendships over stories, that conversations are being made because an author put pen to paper two hundred years ago. That hilarious debates are being fueled because Baroness Orczy's just so doggone controversial. (this one will go down in history, I do believe.) That people are voicing their opinions and defending them instead of being apathetic. That people are, perhaps, discovering authors and films and heroes and heroines through all these discussions that they might never have met otherwise. That we're all having fun together.
Let's not lose that, ever.
Okey-dokey. Class dismissed.
P.S. This is a post that's been swirling in my head for a long time and isn't aimed at anyone or any event in particular. Just to clarify. :D
P.P.S. Pride and Prejudice 1995 is still the best. But I'm sure you knew that.
P.P.P.S. I always relish a good debate, so if you wanna pop up in the comments, feel free...
Story the Second
Once upon a time, I was at a dear friend's house and we were up unreasonably late playing Apples to Apples with her siblings, because that's what people do when they've had too many chocolate pretzels. At some point in the evening, the topic of P&05 (or as I like to call it, FakeP&P) came up in the conversation, and one of the participants pronounced a resounding "boo" upon it. I, being a big Not Fan of P&P05, promptly pronounced approval upon this person, and the conversation quickly deteriorated into a most enjoyable bashing of the aforementioned film. Obviously we had all been getting along quite nicely before this juncture, but the introduction of a mutual dislike added a certain spice and flavor to the enjoyable-ness of the conversation. And though the person-who-boo'ed and I differ greatly on many other matters of opinion-- cough, cough, Sir Percy, COUGH COUGH-- the derogatory remarks he made regarding Fake P&P helped to raise him quite a few points in my estimation.
Story the Third
Once upon a time, I was clicking my merry way through blogdom, when I came across a blog that looked Kindred-Spirit-ish and Interesting. I began scrolling through it, nodding my merry head at the posts I saw that were pleasing to mine eye-- and then I stopped and mine eye grew red with rage, for the blogger who wrote this blog had written some observations of a scathing nature regarding mine own beloved P&P95, and THIS WOULD NOT DO. So I exited the browser window right speedily, and nary again did I darken the homepage of that blog. Which, now that I think back on it, was a bit hasty of a judgment... but that is how seriously I take my fanship, folks.
Application
Here we get to the meat of the post. :D
I have given you three stories of how I formed hasty/sort of hasty judgments about people/blogs based on a rather trivial element: their like or dislike of something I liked very much. (These cases all revolved around P&P95, which was not actually the intention when I started writing the stories-- all true, in case you were wondering-- but it seemed a fun and fitting coincidence so I didn't bother scrabbling around for stories about some other topic, to lend Variety or some such nonsense.) This is, of course, a pretty natural occurrence. People instinctively judge other people based on their likes and dislikes, and to a certain extent there's nothing wrong with this.
The problem-- one I consistently struggle with, by the way-- is when we start getting up in arms about the things we like and dislike. When we start giving people a hard time over something we don't agree with. When we start to forget that, for Pete's sake, it's just an opinion. It's just a blog post or comment. It's-- cover your ears, diehard Janeites-- just a book or a movie.
I've done more than my fair share of lightheartedly bashing movies or books-- even character portrayals-- that I didn't like. (You want examples, I'll give you examples.) And I'm actually not using this post to renounce all my past actions and pound the pulpit at the rest of you to tell you not to make the mistakes I did in my wild-oats youth. (Sheesh, I'm still IN my wild-oats youth. :P) Because I don't think there's anything wrong with a little well-intentioned snark. Obviously if the goal in mind is to hurt someone's feelings or take them down a peg or two, we have a problem. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm saying that it's fun to talk about the books and movies we love, to make fun of the ones we don't-quite-love, that people can bond over likes and dislikes (and even, perhaps, decide that they don't want to read a blog post that blatantly dislikes something they really like... if that sentence made any sense at all, which is doubtful.)
What's not okay, however, is to let our opinions and fanships to get the better of us. To get into less-than-friendly arguments. To leave scathing comments on blog posts we don't agree with (and yes, I've seen this happen). I'm not referring to good-natured ribbing between friends here-- that's a different matter entirely. If both parties know it's all in fun, there's no problem. But when we overstep the line and begin to take personal offense when someone dares to be less than enamored with one of our pet fandoms, we've gotten into dangerous waters.
Think of it this way. Imagine, if you will, a naive young whippersnapper who's just venturing into the sprawling, scary world of blogging. She lands upon a blog that looks interesting, begins to read a post that goes on and on about how wonderful this North and South movie is. How exciting, thinks she-- here's someone who likes it as much as I do. I think I'll leave a comment and show my appreciation... but then her eye lands on the comment box, and a particularly vituperative (that's a fun word :P) attack on the post author's choice of film is the first comment to pop up. A little shocked at the vehemence of the commenter's opinion, the naive young whippersnapper rethinks her idea of leaving a comment... she doesn't want to get yelled at, does she? Perhaps, after all, her opinion isn't the right one. Perhaps, after all, she is less of a person for liking something that this outspoken commentator didn't approve of. So, very sadly, she closes her browser, leaves Blogger and moves on through the melancholy rest of her life without ever experiencing the friendship and camaraderie that flows in abundance around this neck of the woods.
*melodramatic violin music plays as the screen changes to Benedict Cumberbatch staring moodily into the middle distance*
My point here is that it's okay to disagree with people. (I'm very close to a certain girl who happens to really like P&P05 (though every day I fervently pray that her erring heart may be converted), and to another who, well versed in TSP and Les Mis as she may be, just doesn't give Jane Austen the adoration she deserves. And yet I love them both anyway-- and I, in my turn, grieve them grievously by not appreciating P&P05 and by not being interested in Doctor Who. Heehee.) It's okay to debate things. It's okay to have mock battles over which Jane Austen hero is better. But let's not get too carried away and start making people feel bad over whether they prefer Mr. Darcy or Mr. Thornton, whether they like John better than Sherlock, whether they drink their tea with sugar or honey or ketchup if it takes their fancy.
Let's remember that it's okay to agree to disagree. Sure, where your moral principles are concerned, you'll want to take a firm and unwavering stand. But where your favorite Austen hero is concerned... maybe it's okay to let another person have her say.
Because you know what? The important thing here is that people do like books and movies and characters. That people are socializing and forming friendships over stories, that conversations are being made because an author put pen to paper two hundred years ago. That hilarious debates are being fueled because Baroness Orczy's just so doggone controversial. (this one will go down in history, I do believe.) That people are voicing their opinions and defending them instead of being apathetic. That people are, perhaps, discovering authors and films and heroes and heroines through all these discussions that they might never have met otherwise. That we're all having fun together.
Let's not lose that, ever.
Okey-dokey. Class dismissed.
P.S. This is a post that's been swirling in my head for a long time and isn't aimed at anyone or any event in particular. Just to clarify. :D
P.P.S. Pride and Prejudice 1995 is still the best. But I'm sure you knew that.
P.P.P.S. I always relish a good debate, so if you wanna pop up in the comments, feel free...
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